It’s been a year. If we say nothing else of 2020, we can at least say that: it’s been a year. The year of Covid has been both the longest and shortest year I have ever experienced in my life. Or at least that’s the way it seems.
The longest, because it feels like we’ve been living in the midst of a global pandemic for years instead of just the one. And the shortest, as having yo-yo’d between working from home and working, you know, at work, it feels like the days-weeks-months have all blended into one so that I can’t tell the difference between days of the week anymore.
It feels like all I’ve done this year is work, and stress, and work some more. I’m a generally positive person and like to think I have a healthy mindset and outlook on life, but this year has really tested my resolve — and not always with my knowledge or consent.
I have written no novels this year. No novellas or fiction of any kind. Any inspiration I’ve had has fizzled itself away the second I started making notes.
I was barely able to keep up with this blog; managing, I believe, about three to four months of consistent content before — blip— I fell off the radar again.
I went on no trips, no holidays, no hikes or long walks. I haven’t even been able to visit my family due to my dad shielding, which marks two years this month since I last saw him.
I started yoga. Then stopped, losing the motivation.
I also started a reading challenge in April; and then stopped reading for the next six months.
It feels like Covid ate my homework. My life. My motivation.
I’m honestly not sure what else I’ve done this year except work-eat-sleep-repeat.
And yet… I’m still here. I’m still alive, and healthy, and employed.
It’s these things we sometimes take for granted that I find myself hanging onto the most. Though for a time, I couldn’t have told you if I’d still have employment by the end of each month.
Between March–August my FTC (fixed term contact) was only ever extended on a month-by-month basis as work decided if they’d keep myself and a handful of my colleagues on. It was a stressful and scary time for all of us, especially knowing that if I lost my job, J would be the one supporting us on his furloughed wage.
I bit off all my nails during this time.
Whilst I’m having a hard time breaking this new habit (as a former nail-biter), I am pleased to say that after the first lockdown, I was offered a permanent contract with my work, which has allowed me to de-stress and start recovering my healthier habits.
The only other saving grace to the year was knowing that J and I had completed our #debtfreejourney at the start of the year. And just before the first lockdown hit us in March, we’d not only managed to get ourselves completely out of debt, but we’d also seriously started saving towards our Fully Funded Emergency Fund (FFEF).
And whilst we weren’t able to save as much as we would have liked this year, because Covid, it’s only made us both more determined to reach our FFEF goal.
I don’t write this post to be all woe-is-me, or for any sympathy to my situation. I’ve had it better than most, I know. I only want to note down the kind of year I’ve had for prosperity. For reflection on the year 2020. To remind myself of the things that have happened, and to show myself that, whilst I may not have achieved all the things I wanted to, I’ve achieved much more than I thought I had.
2020 has been year. A helluva year. And though I know the start of 2021 isn’t going to be any better, I sure am pleased to be heading into a new year with new hope, a healthier and more positive outlook on life, and a more concrete plan to enrich my lifestyle and forgive myself for the days where I honestly cannot do more than work-eat-sleep-repeat.